Quick Take: No Butts About It!

In the latest round of dispatches from Arkham Asylum the 'Murican heartland, dear readers, there is one particular noxious nugget of note:

In a recent session of the Montana legislature, a bill was drafted by one Representative David Moore, who in one feel swoop identified the real issue that is plaguing the once fruited plain... yoga pants.

More specifically, the proposed bill would outlaw "any device, costume, or covering that gives the appearance of or simulates the genitals, pubic hair, anus region, or pubic hair region."

And that is only the tip of the spear in Moore's thrust (gotta work with your material, folks) to eradicate widespread lewdness. As the Billings Gazette reported:

"The Republican from Missoula said tight-fitting beige clothing could be considered indecent exposure under his proposal.

"Yoga pants should be illegal in public anyway," Moore said after the hearing.

Moore said he wouldn’t have a problem with people being arrested for wearing provocative clothing but that he'd trust law enforcement officials to use their discretion. He couldn’t be sure whether police would act on that provision or if Montana residents would challenge it.

"I don't have a crystal ball," Moore said."

"Trust law enforcement to use their discretion"? Certainly nothing could go awry there! But I digress...

While the mere fact that such a juvenile response - one roughly on par with the same "icky" reaction grade school children have to contracting "cooties" - is even being articulated serves as another blow to the last vestiges of American dignity, thankfully Mr. Moore's tantrum was contained in timeout.

"Amid giggles" from his more sensible fellow legislators, the bill was tabled by a unanimous voice vote in a session of the House Judiciary committee. 

I could waste precious time and energy expounding upon the utter ridiculousness of such an archaic, antiquated, and down right stupid notion, that banning "suggestive" (which isn't a subjective term at all) clothing will somehow restore public decency and well being; but the fact that Moore's colleagues in the Montana legislature - a state where 35% of the Christian population believes in a word for word reading of the Bible - literally laughed his bill out of consideration says it all.

To paraphrase the late, great George Carlin, if people wonder why America can't seem to produce decent cars or electronics, can't educate the young or provide healthcare to the elderly and the poor, look no further than David Moore and his legion of stuff shirt, frumpy ilk, to whom the very existence of human genitalia is an affront to their shallow existences.